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HOW ABRAHAM SHAWON URINATED IN THE CLASS IN 1994! By Orjime Igbakura

Where is Abraham Shawon?

Cc; Chief Noise Makers of our class

  1. Moses Ako Adamu
  2. Yakubu Nenge
  3. Agyaku Kpamor
  4. Theophilus Tyav
  5. Orjime Igbakura
  6. Ngufan Shambe
  7. Iorlumun Nomishan, et al.

By 1994, we arrived Bristow and 53 of us were placed in JSS 1B. Doolumun Simon Tyough was made the class monitor. Perhaps, because of his age difference with many of us, he was much more coordinated and gentle than some of us. Our class was notorious for noise making such that even our fellow classmates from other arms were scared of entering the B arm. We were not bothered about “names of noise makers”. Little wonder, Monica Msuega, Susan Takema ‘s Deputy (Head girl) was always punishing some of us with “pick pin”. It never used to be funny sha o. Our class prefect, Terngu Yoosu would try to control us but she was gentler and preferred speaking slangs; “who has a time piiist?” We weren’t so scared of her.

Chief among the noise makers was Abraham Shawon. Even though, some of us too could make noise, his was something else. And then, we had a particular teacher, Mr. Asor on whose duty day, you dare not move about without a “Pass”. He would design a “pass” for every class arm and hand it over to the class monitor with an instruction that no two members of a class would be seen outside at the same time, no matter the situation. Once someone had gone out with the “pass”, whether you were seriously pressed, you would just have to wait for the one with the “pass” to return before you could go. In a case where he met you outside, he would simply ask in a soldier like manner “where is your pass?” and if you weren’t with it, “sorry” would be your name! On his duty days, the school would be “on attention”! Even those of us who were chief noise makers were simply scared of him! Or-ihyundu fa ayange aa kasua!

On this fateful day, Mr. Asor was on duty! Then, Abraham Shawon came to meet the class monitor, Ityough for the “pass” but Ityough thought Abraham was only looking for an opportunity to go out and disturb because he (Abraham) had gone out before using the “pass”. So, Ityough refused even though Abraham wouldn’t leave his (Ityough) seat. The following conversation ensued between the duo;

Abraham: Ityough me nam “pass” mza nyande (Ityough, give me “pass”, let me go and ease myself)

Ityough: Abraham, me nau ga; ka tom zaiyol (Abraham, I won’t give you, you only want to go out and disturb)

When he noticed that Ityough wasn’t convinced, he said;
” Ityough, me nyande ke class heen o!” ( Ityough, I will urinate in the class here o)

Ityough: Abraham, gba nyanden tso, mngu nan we ga ( Abraham, just urinate, I won’t give you the “pass”).

Abraham Shawon simply went to the front of the class, facing the notice board without zipping down his knicker and behold, urine started pouring down “jajajaja”. He walked straight to where Ityough sat, stood right in his front with the remnant of his urine pouring down! Ityough was rather confused at his behaviour and simply asked “Abraham, kanyi inja kwagh shawon nee?” (Abraham, what kind of thing is this?). He left us around JSS 2 and since then, I think I heard about him only once. Where is Abraham Shawon? I would really love to meet him now that we have grown, to see if he still has some of those characters he had in our teens.


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